I came home from VBS this morning to a disaster zone. Breakfast dishes all over the counter, a full cup of cold coffee sitting on the table, cereal and sand spread over the kitchen floor, a wet towel crumpled up on the bathroom floor and a pair of boy's pajamas laying in a puddle in the bathtub. Not the way I would normally leave the house, as that's not a nice thing to come home to. What happened here, you might ask? Things certainly weren't so hectic when Mike left for his summer course this morning - the boys were calmly eating breakfast and the morning was under control. Then Aaron had a poop.
And did he ever. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the extent of his job until I was pulling off his pajama shorts to change his diaper... and I discovered he had blown out the side and I had successfully spread disgustingness to the bottom of his legs and on his hands, plus I had a pair of shorts and a diaper that needed to be dealt with. Trying to maintain some control of the situation without spreading the mess around too much, I grab one arm and the opposite leg and carry him to the tub, but in the process I manage to get my arms covered in poo. Lovely. Turn the hand-held shower head on and start hosing him off, with the poor kid loudly protesting that he wants OUT. Too bad, son. Guess what, I'm not so excited about this situation myself. With Aaron starting to escalate into screaming, I put the shower head down quickly to grab some soap and of course it spins around and starts spraying all over me before I pick it up again. Even more lovely. Finally, Aaron's cleaned up, I'm cleaned up and I go to grab him some clothes, only to discover several chunks of poo on the floor, carpet, and change table that must have dropped off my hazardous-waste child as I carried him to the tub. "Poop on carpet, Mommy. That's gusting" declares my now-clean child. I quickly get him dressed, and now time is running short before I have to get everyone packed in the van for VBS. Start searching for Peter to get him dressed, only to find him in the sandbox outside with sand in his hair, stuck to his hands, and all over his feet, and he's still in his pajamas. Ahhh! I wipe him up as best as I can but he'll just have to be a little grimy for his VBS closing program today. Get him into his clothes, get Nate changed and into his clothes, and get shoes on all three before hustling them out the door. It was one of those drives where I had to double-check that I was wearing all the clothes I should be wearing (does anyone else ever wonder if they've forgotten to put on something essential?), only to find that my hair was frizzy from being sprayed in the shower, my pants were soaked, and although I had used the nicest-smelling soap I could find I was still a little paranoid that I would smell like I just gave a poopy toddler a hose-down. Peter was grimy, Aaron might have still been wafting some less-than-attractive odors, and poor Nate hadn't even had a drink yet. Not exactly the way I wanted to walk into church! It was a bit of a disastrous morning, but at least everyone was in a pretty good mood by the time we arrived, and no one else seemed to notice a problem.
That's got to rank up there with the top poop-disasters that I've dealt with. Of course, small babies have blow-outs more often requiring full wardrobe changes but something about baby poop makes it not quite as bad as toddler poop. The worst toddler-poop experience still has to be with Peter when we were first toilet-training him. He got quite constipated and the situation was getting a little grim. We finally decided to give him just the tiniest bit of Senecot liquid to see if it could help him out. Who knew it could work that quickly. We were on our way out to Grassie to check something out, when the poor guy had an "accident". Actually, it was more than just an accident, it was more of a natural disaster. Anyways, when we stopped, it was quite the task to get everything cleaned up. He was covered from his hair right on down to his socks, and I ended up using almost a whole roll of paper towel and a package of baby wipes to clean him up, stripped bare and in the back of the open van in 8 degree weather. All I had for extra clothes was an outfit from Aaron, so I squeezed him into those and wrapped him in a blanket. What a disaster!! Pretty disgusting, but at least we can laugh about the gross adventures of parenthood in retrospect! :P
Friday, July 08, 2011
VBS According to Peter
Day One (Adam and Eve)
There were three boys who had a goat. Actually they were three girls. They tied a rope to a stake and to the goat so it couldn't get away. Then a huge frog came and tied a rope to our van and it was stuck.
Day Two (Shepherds Visit Baby Jesus)
The shepherds came to the barn to see Jesus sleeping. Jesus was asleep on the hay, and he had two pillows, too. There were three shepherds, and they took the sheep away from the big bear, who was lonely. It ate Jesus, and He was broken in the bear's tummy - he was thiiiis small. Then the shepherd fixed Jesus.
Day Three (Jesus Raises Jairus' Daughter, Jesus Calms the Storm)
There was a girl who was sick because she fell out of bed and hit her head. She had a big owie on her head, and it didn't get better. The disciples and Jesus were in the boat and they were all sleeping. Then the disciples yelled and woke Jesus up, and they wanted Him to listen to God. So Jesus said "stop" and the water stopped. Then there was a big huge teddy bear who was mean, and the little teddy bear landed on his foot and he was mean too.
Day Four (Jesus Dies on the Cross)
It was a Saviour. Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins. God put him there, and the shepherds maybe. Then the big teddy bear kicked the little teddy bear and he landed on top of a tree. That wasn't very nice. A man hid the bear under a lion bush, and then it was lost.
Day Five (Jesus Taken Up Into Heaven)
There was a little man, and he was sick. The people were afraid because he was sick. They put him in the jack and he couldn't come out, and he was lonely because he lived in a little box. Jesus is our Saviour. He went up into the earth, up into the sky without using a ladder. He watches us, and Jesus and God live in our hearts.
I could pretty much deduce what the actual story was each day, but his explanations were understandably quite puzzling. He had all these strange details and definitely non-biblical storylines which were somewhat familiar to me but I didn't figure out why until Wednesday. His teacher had also been reading to the children from W.G. Vandehulst's My Favourite Story Book, a book that I grew up with. They must have heard the story of the "Two Little Sisters" on Monday, "A Teddy Bear That Grew" on Tuesday and Wednesday and then also "Lettie", perhaps "Grandpa's Watch on Thursday and then Friday they must have read a story about a Jack-in-the-Box. It took some prodding each day but he did remember some details about the Bible story that they learned. Of course, he's heard all those stories here at home already, but he'll hear them many times in the years ahead, and it's interesting to see how he learns from someone other than Mom and Dad. He wasn't too keen on being left behind the first few days, but by the last couple days he was much more comfortable with being on his own, and he even sang in the program this morning. Aaron was definitely not impressed with not being able to stay with his brother, because he wanted to "go Bible school TOO Mommy!!", and he complained that "I will be lonely!" It was a bit of a struggle to leave with him, but once we were busy with other things he was just fine. It was an interesting week for all of us, to be sure.
There were three boys who had a goat. Actually they were three girls. They tied a rope to a stake and to the goat so it couldn't get away. Then a huge frog came and tied a rope to our van and it was stuck.
Day Two (Shepherds Visit Baby Jesus)
The shepherds came to the barn to see Jesus sleeping. Jesus was asleep on the hay, and he had two pillows, too. There were three shepherds, and they took the sheep away from the big bear, who was lonely. It ate Jesus, and He was broken in the bear's tummy - he was thiiiis small. Then the shepherd fixed Jesus.
Day Three (Jesus Raises Jairus' Daughter, Jesus Calms the Storm)
There was a girl who was sick because she fell out of bed and hit her head. She had a big owie on her head, and it didn't get better. The disciples and Jesus were in the boat and they were all sleeping. Then the disciples yelled and woke Jesus up, and they wanted Him to listen to God. So Jesus said "stop" and the water stopped. Then there was a big huge teddy bear who was mean, and the little teddy bear landed on his foot and he was mean too.
Day Four (Jesus Dies on the Cross)
It was a Saviour. Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins. God put him there, and the shepherds maybe. Then the big teddy bear kicked the little teddy bear and he landed on top of a tree. That wasn't very nice. A man hid the bear under a lion bush, and then it was lost.
Day Five (Jesus Taken Up Into Heaven)
There was a little man, and he was sick. The people were afraid because he was sick. They put him in the jack and he couldn't come out, and he was lonely because he lived in a little box. Jesus is our Saviour. He went up into the earth, up into the sky without using a ladder. He watches us, and Jesus and God live in our hearts.
I could pretty much deduce what the actual story was each day, but his explanations were understandably quite puzzling. He had all these strange details and definitely non-biblical storylines which were somewhat familiar to me but I didn't figure out why until Wednesday. His teacher had also been reading to the children from W.G. Vandehulst's My Favourite Story Book, a book that I grew up with. They must have heard the story of the "Two Little Sisters" on Monday, "A Teddy Bear That Grew" on Tuesday and Wednesday and then also "Lettie", perhaps "Grandpa's Watch on Thursday and then Friday they must have read a story about a Jack-in-the-Box. It took some prodding each day but he did remember some details about the Bible story that they learned. Of course, he's heard all those stories here at home already, but he'll hear them many times in the years ahead, and it's interesting to see how he learns from someone other than Mom and Dad. He wasn't too keen on being left behind the first few days, but by the last couple days he was much more comfortable with being on his own, and he even sang in the program this morning. Aaron was definitely not impressed with not being able to stay with his brother, because he wanted to "go Bible school TOO Mommy!!", and he complained that "I will be lonely!" It was a bit of a struggle to leave with him, but once we were busy with other things he was just fine. It was an interesting week for all of us, to be sure.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
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