Friday, July 08, 2011

Warning - Poop Content

I came home from VBS this morning to a disaster zone.  Breakfast dishes all over the counter, a full cup of cold coffee sitting on the table, cereal and sand spread over the kitchen floor, a wet towel crumpled up on the bathroom floor and a pair of boy's pajamas laying in a puddle in the bathtub.  Not the way I would normally leave the house, as that's not a nice thing to come home to.  What happened here, you might ask?  Things certainly weren't so hectic when Mike left for his summer course this morning - the boys were calmly eating breakfast and the morning was under control.  Then Aaron had a poop. 
And did he ever.  Unfortunately, I didn't realize the extent of his job until I was pulling off his pajama shorts to change his diaper... and I discovered he had blown out the side and I had successfully spread disgustingness to the bottom of his legs and on his hands, plus I had a pair of shorts and a diaper that needed to be dealt with.  Trying to maintain some control of the situation without spreading the mess around too much, I grab one arm and the opposite leg and carry him to the tub, but in the process I manage to get my arms covered in poo.  Lovely.  Turn the hand-held shower head on and start hosing him off, with the poor kid loudly protesting that he wants OUT.  Too bad, son.  Guess what, I'm not so excited about this situation myself.  With Aaron starting to escalate into screaming, I put the shower head down quickly to grab some soap and of course it spins around and starts spraying all over me before I pick it up again.  Even more lovely.  Finally, Aaron's cleaned up, I'm cleaned up and I go to grab him some clothes, only to discover several chunks of poo on the floor, carpet, and change table that must have dropped off my hazardous-waste child as I carried him to the tub.  "Poop on carpet, Mommy.  That's gusting" declares my now-clean child.  I quickly get him dressed, and now time is running short before I have to get everyone packed in the van for VBS.  Start searching for Peter to get him dressed, only to find him in the sandbox outside with sand in his hair, stuck to his hands, and all over his feet, and he's still in his pajamas.  Ahhh!  I wipe him up as best as I can but he'll just have to be a little grimy for his VBS closing program today.  Get him into his clothes, get Nate changed and  into his clothes, and get shoes on all three before hustling them out the door.  It was one of those drives where I had to double-check that I was wearing all the clothes I should be wearing (does anyone else ever wonder if they've forgotten to put on something essential?), only to find that my hair was frizzy from being sprayed in the shower, my pants were soaked, and although I had used the nicest-smelling soap I could find I was still a little paranoid that I would smell like I just gave a poopy toddler a hose-down.  Peter was grimy, Aaron might have still been wafting some less-than-attractive odors, and poor Nate hadn't even had a drink yet.  Not exactly the way I wanted to walk into church!  It was a bit of a disastrous morning, but at least everyone was in a pretty good mood by the time we arrived, and no one else seemed to notice a problem. 
That's got to rank up there with the top poop-disasters that I've dealt with.  Of course, small babies have blow-outs more often requiring full wardrobe changes but something about baby poop makes it not quite as bad as toddler poop.  The worst toddler-poop experience still has to be with Peter when we were first toilet-training him.  He got quite constipated and the situation was getting a little grim.  We finally decided to give him just the tiniest bit of Senecot liquid to see if it could help him out.  Who knew it could work that quickly.  We were on our way out to Grassie to check something out, when the poor guy had an "accident".  Actually, it was more than just an accident, it was more of a natural disaster.  Anyways, when we stopped, it was quite the task to get everything cleaned up.  He was covered from his hair right on down to his socks, and I ended up using almost a whole roll of paper towel and a package of baby wipes to clean him up, stripped bare and in the back of the open van in 8 degree weather.  All I had for extra clothes was an outfit from Aaron, so I squeezed him into those and wrapped him in a blanket.  What a disaster!!  Pretty disgusting, but at least we can laugh about the gross adventures of parenthood in retrospect!  :P

7 comments:

Leigh said...

i love hearing other mom's "poop stories" seeing as my life seems to revolve around who is pooping and where! =)

Shirley said...

As soon as I saw the title, I knew I was in for a great story. Had I known how detailed your descriptions would be, and how well I would be able to envision everything that went on this morning, I would have gone to the bathroom first. Now I REALLY have to pee. :) -Shirley

Unknown said...

It's nice to know you're not alone when it comes to poop disasters :)

Anonymous said...

Oh the joys of motherhood and the blessings of children. They never cease to challenge your limits and look at the wonderful story that it became. Love it, and yes I was chuckling all the way through. Love mom

Danielle said...

I will admit to laughing a bit when i read this story - just imagining the panic with poop all over is kinda remiscent of my day at work yesterday - sometimes you just don't even know where to start eh?!

Unknown said...

That's pretty gross, Kirsten! The poor kid :P Good thing there's more than one restaurant to choose from!!

ADasa said...

LOL, Rachel! I remember my first "poop experience" - twas when Andrew was just 1 week old and we had a deacon's picnic to go to ... I *thought* I had all the bases covered but I obviously didn't. It was cool outside by the time Andrew pooped EVERYWHERE and I was a new, new mom. It was up his back, in his hair etc. and his back-up outfit wasn't warm enough...and there were all experienced mom's at the picnic! EEK! Anyway, Mrs. Schotsman helped me - so kindly - and we got him cleaned and dressed, and wrapped in blankets. I've never forgotten her kindness! That was in the days where you never had babies without hats (bonnets) and never, never barefeet! Undershirts in summer too! And I failed! Oh well, he survived, oh and baby poop is nothing like toddler poop!
Dawn
PS I linked you on my Entirelyforhim blog today!