Queen of the House

Once upon a time, there lived a cat. This cat was very cute, and very pretty, and very self-centered. She lived in a small little house which was kept neat and tidy. However, the cat did not care much for neat and tidy. The cat liked to make a mess. She thought it was great fun to tip over the big plant pots and scatter dirt all over the couch and the floor. She thought it was exceptionally tasty to eat freshly cut flowers and then puke them onto the kitchen floor. She loved to jump up on the stove while dinner was cooking so she could steal people-food and knock stuff over. She found it very exciting to bury erasers in her litter box and spread litter all over the office. And nothing could beat chasing plants, freshly ripped out of their pots, around and around the house while crumpling up every mat she could find. And while no one else living in the small little house liked the huge mess she liked to make, she discovered that most human wrath could be appeased if she sporadically jumped up on a lap and purred for a while.