Sunday, November 06, 2005

Bubbling Over


So last night we went to bed, tired and with no expectations of mischief. Unbeknownst to us, however, sometime during the night, a group of three vandals snuck into the parking lot outside our little apartment and attacked our helpless and innocent little Escort. Already braving the high winds and the rain, the poor car now had to deal with the effects of some crazy and conniving mischief-sowers-of-the-night. When we woke up, Mike looked out the window and exclaimed, "What happened to our car??!!" Fearing that it had gone missing, I was somewhat relieved to look outside and see it sitting there, but it didn't look like how we had left it the night before. Mike went outside and discovered that it was covered in metres and metres of . . . bubble wrap? Yes, folks, bubble wrap. 50 feet of bubble wrap, to be exact, complete with a poem which handily gave away to us the identity of the perpetrators. There are few people I know who can craft such poetry, and while she could scarcely commit such a crime on her own, there are two more villains who we know would happily aid and abet.

Bubbling Over
There once was a girl, there once lived a boy
They loved each other and had much joy!
They did lots of things and had lots of fun
They sure worked hard and got stuff done!
But once in a while, where there was trouble,
The only solution was a bubble . . .
A bubble, you say, how could that help?
How can air stop a yell or a yelp?
Well, you see, here's the big clue
Bubbles give you a new thing to do.
Spend countless hours popping air pockets
Instead of valuable things like eye sockets.
Small bags of highly compressed air
Will soon alleviate every care.
Bubbles can be blown from dishsoap
But they pop fast, they can't help you cope.
But here's a solution that cannot fail
A wonderful plan that will never grow stale.
25 feet of the best bubble wrap
Of course, STAPLES brand to make you clap.
According to wise and expert input
That's just an amazing .31 cents a square foot!!!
And if you popped a square foot per day
All calculated out in a wonderful way
A day would cost just 3.6 cents
Leaving lots of money for food, books and rent.
Self-therapy that works for worry and stress
Bubble wrap is just about the best!
So pop all those bubbles and have lots of fun
Then drive to the store whenever you're done
Ask a nice sales clerk and she will agree
That this is the best solution you'll see.
We hope you like it, that you'll think it neat
So relieve your worry with 50, yes 50, feet
of Staples best brand of Bubblewrap!
Pop a bubble, it is a snap!
Pictures to follow

4 comments:

Rachel said...

haha - that's awesome!! who was the perpetrator?? I must commend them on their poetic skills... :).

Anonymous said...

I must compliment the perpetrators on doing such an outstanding job at raising havoc and mischief... i take my proverbial hat off to them and commend them to the annals of prankdom history...

Unknown said...

The talented perpetrators of the described crime happen to be none other than close family members and adopted family members of mine - can you believe it? Two ladies with whom I have spent most of my formative years playing and arguing with, and one lady, daughter of an esteemed lab instructor at Redeemer University. Names need not be mentioned but I think that will help you figure out who it was, Rach

Anonymous said...

Wow. those people are pretty cool. I wish i could meet them. can you hook me up?